Putting it all Aside

25 Dec

I was barely 12 years old when my grandmother died in 1971. She was 63. It’s Christmas morning and I began to wonder about my life, family events, and my mannerisms that are passed on to me from other family members. I wonder, who am I most like.

My mother, who at age 81, has many similarities, but mostly I resemble my grandmother. For years my mother would say, how my hair color, having a reddish tint was something inherited from my grandmother. Aside from that, I look nothing like her. I do know that like my grandmother, I love coffee. I drink it daily and unlike my mother. There are other similarities to my grandmother. And notably there are vast differences from my mother.

In school, I excelled at physical activities–While I looked forward to gym class, my mother was too sickly to participate. I became involved in any extra curriculum course that utilized my energy and spunk. Like grandmom, I was always ready to go…I drive fast like her too. My mother, on the other hand, learned to drive, but didn’t. She, instead, had patience to wait until she is offered a ride.

Patience is something I have very little of…

The point I’m making is perhaps people die before we think they should because our Saviour created us just so our loved ones live in us. And no one can have more than one persona.

I’ve invited several friends and of course my mother and nephew to celebrate Christmas Day at my home. When I began setting my table for guests and did some other chores, I thought about the significance of this day and remembered the few Christmas mornings I shared with my grandmother. When she died the family unity died too. But her life and the legacy of her remains in me.



I am relaxed

20 May

I vaguely remember when I decided to grow out, and then cut off the remainder of my chemically relaxed hair. But I can certainly remember why I went back to using a relaxer.

The first time I began relaxing my hair was so long ago I can’t remember how I began relaxing my mother’s, and my sister’s hair too. Regardless, I became a hairstylist of sorts. I spent about an hour several times each year retouching my kinky roots–making my hair silky and smooth, as well as aesthetically appealing when I got it wet.
In other words, my relaxed hair retained a style I preferred, and it is easier to maintain than when my hair was in its natural state.
Non relaxed hair required lots of care–I spent hours each day trying to keep it from tangling, and becoming matted.  Furthermore, my hairstyle rarely lasted through the day. And, even though some believe natural hair is manageable in hot, and humid weather, it is not.
My so-called twist out hair became puffy and styleless in a matter of minutes. And even when I paid a stylist to straighten my hair–pressing it out without using a chemical, the pressed hairstyle deteriorated in a day or two causing me much angst and more.
Furthermore, my lifestyle of fitness changed the day I quit relaxing my hair. I stopped swimming, playing tennis, and cycling too. Because sweating is a natural part of exercise, immediate hair care is required.  With a relaxer, it’s simply washing, drying, and then styling my hair—easily accomplished in an hour, or less, and without having to pay and wait for an appointment with a professional hairstylist.